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Groomsmen and ushers are generally family or friends that have been close to the bride or groom for a long time, often going back to grade or high school days. An average size wedding, consisting of 150 people, will have between four and six groomsmen and two to four ushers. The groomsmen fall in line after the best man and are a part of the "wedding party", standing up in support and agreement for the groom. Keep in mind that the number is an average and not mandatory.
In fact, large weddings of 500 or more people will often have as many as 13 groomsmen, and 10 ushers. The ushers escort guests for both the bride and groom's side. The usher will take the arm of the woman, with her husband or guest, following behind as they make their way down the aisle to the appropriate seating. Your choice of groomsmen or ushers does not have to be an even number of people. When you get ready to make your selection for groomsmen and ushers, you could very well experience a common problem relating to this process. Once your list of names is complete, word will spread like wildfire among your group of friends and family.
Here is the scenario - you have a group of two brothers on your side and one brother on the bride's side, three close friends, and one cousin, each meaning something special to you. You and your fiancé made the decision that for your size wedding, four groomsmen and two ushers are needed. You painstakingly make your decisions, and when finished, you have three people that were not chosen. As soon as you tell each person of your decision, you eventually get to the three people not included. Now you find yourself in an uncomfortable position, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. Regardless of which people you chose, this is a difficult task.
Your first choice will start with the best man. This person is close to you, perhaps a brother, who will never let you down. If you have a brother and a best friend, both meaning something extraordinary in your life, you can choose to have two best men. To clear up confusion as to who should be chosen for the groomsmen, these should be other brothers or extremely close friends and if the bride has brothers, they should take priority over your friends. For those not chosen, ask if they would assist with ushering, handing out programs, being a reader, performing if they sing or play an instrument, or other roles as needed.
Finally, ushers should be the people left out from the role of groomsmen, as well as other men from either the bride or groom's side. If you believe, someone may be offended for not being included, have an honest talk with them and explain the numbers. Rarely will potential groomsmen and ushers complain. Generally, they just want you to have a wonderful wedding for two people they love.
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